Lach and I are no longer together.
I don't know where to start. It's been almost a week since he told me that he's talking to this girl he met online while here in the Philippines. It's also been a week since they first met. It's been a week since I lost him.
He said he's been thinking about breaking up with me for quite a while now, but when we went to Bali and had a great time together, he decided against it. He said that he's not in love with me anymore. I don't even know. I'm always thinking it's the girl who made us break up. I thought we were doing great and then one night, he told me he's been talking to a girl he met on TripAdvisor and they met up. I didn't get any sleep that night. It just hurts so much no matter how many times he apologize.
On Wednesday, January 13, 2016, I decided not to go to school to spend some time with him since his flight was supposedly the next day. I thought we're gonna reconcile, but he broke up with me that day. It felt like I want to fucking die. I thought I'm going to skip this stage in my life because he was my first love and things were getting serious between us. It felt like I was left alone in the air.
I saw their conversation, no matter how much he insisted not to show me, I found a way. And man, did I regret it! When they met each other, we were still together but he told her that I'm his ex and a really good friend that's why he's staying at my place. I didn't know he's capable of doing such thing. Looks like the guy I fell in love with has disappeared.
To make the story short, he picked her over me. I'm trying to be strong for myself. I'm trying to look at the positive side but there are really times where I'll just break down in tears.
Earlier this afternoon, while I was having a nap, I dreamed of him. I woke up and cried. I still couldn't believe this is happening to me. Everything's so fucked up. I don't want to live anymore. Fuck.
